School Spanking and
Other Humiliation Stories as Examples of Shyness Causes
Social Anxiety Shyness Info
To be on the receiving end of school
or maternal spankings or spankings from any other
source, to suffer humiliating spankings or any other humiliation
story, and to be the center of humiliating
experience can generate or feed Shyness.
In shy people, we often find reports of situations of disrespect
to their dignity.
However, facts of this nature or any other
nature contribute to Shyness only if they have repercussions
on the self-concept. Repercussion means becoming part of the concept which the individual forms of himself. These facts also need to have repercussions
in the concept that the individual forms of the other ("other" taken to mean any other person).
Therefore, the causes of Shyness have two
* concept about the other.
What self-concept is – The first pole is a set of values and beliefs, conscious or accessible to one's conscience, as well as attitudes and opinions which the individual holds about himself and himself in relation to others, the world, and everything that the mind can reach.
Formation of self-concept –
The self-concept is formed through our interaction with
the world and with people. Thus, its initial contour
is outlined when the infant begins to perceive the world around
her. In the beginning, perception mobilizes sensations
on the physiological plane. Records imprinted on the infant's
mind are non verbal, i. e., only the results of sensations.
Example: He may cry if roughly spoken
to. Although he does not understand the meaning of words, he feels
discomfort and cries on account of the tone and loudness of the voice
as well as the facial expression of the other person.
The child's day to day experiences are imprinted
on his mind and form his notion of "self".
Between the ages of two and three, the child becomes
aware of his existence in the world as a separate being.
At this time, the child is already marked by the extraordinary
number of experiences he has lived. The understanding he begins to have of things is influenced by experiences he has lived
The subsequent experiences consolidate
or modify the notion of "self" that was being outlined. Example:
If the child experienced rejection in the physiological plane, he
can now "see" this rejection when, for instance, he is spanked by
mother or father or by whoever is around. (In this example, we are
hypothetically considering only what the child perceives or feels.)
This is but one brief glimpse of the self-concept
formation process. If you wish to know more about this topic,
Concept about the other –
The set of beliefs, attitudes, and
opinions that the person has about other
Formation of the concept about the other – The second pole necessary for the development
of Shyness begins to be structured also during the first stage
of the interaction of the child with the world. At this stage,
the emotions felt by the child on the biological plane leave marks
in the "visceral" memory and conduct its attitudes. Example:
When roughly spoken to or cursed, her memory links the discomfort
to the person who spoke in such a fashion.
At a later stage, the child is spanked and begins
to perceive a threat in the person and to develop the expectation
of hostility. If the child continues to be spanked or beaten
in later stages, he may come to feel this as humiliation.
In parallel, the child becomes conscious
and aware of his impotence to react and still sees the other as strong
and powerful. This awareness of the other is generalized,
and any person becomes strong and potentially threatening.
Fear of the other is installed.
To perceive the other as strong and threatening,
the adult does not need to have suffered physical punishment
as a child. This perception of the other can develop through
a variety of different experiences during childhood and/or
at the beginning of adolescence. Examples:
suffering threats of punishment, suffering prolonged non-physical punishment
(such as being deprived of a favorite toy for many days), excessive
restriction of contact with other children, physical and/or verbal
aggression between the parents, regular outbursts from one or both
parents. Ultimately, a large number of experiences can lead to the
generalized perception of the other as strong and potentially threatening.
Thus, it becomes evident that the causes
of Shyness are complex and are part of the evolution of the "self."
Any happening in the life of a person contributes to Shyness only
if it is incorporated into the "self" as a concept with a
negative sign. Amid such complexity, a factor of major importance
can be humiliating spankings.
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