Ruy Miranda
Social Anxiety Shyness Info

To be on the receiving end of school or maternal spankings or spankings from any other source, to suffer humiliating spankings or any other humiliation story, and to be the center of humiliating experience can generate or feed Shyness. In shy people, we often find reports of situations of disrespect to their dignity.

However, facts of this nature or any other nature contribute to Shyness only if they have repercussions on the self-concept. Repercussion means becoming part of the concept which the individual forms of himself. These facts also need to have repercussions in the concept that the individual forms of the other ("other" taken to mean any other person).

Therefore, the causes of Shyness have two poles:
* self-concept;
* concept about the other.

What self-concept is – The first pole is a set of values and beliefs, conscious or accessible to one's conscience, as well as attitudes and opinions which the individual holds about himself and himself in relation to others, the world, and everything that the mind can reach.

Formation of self-concept – The self-concept is formed through our interaction with the world and with people. Thus, its initial contour is outlined when the infant begins to perceive the world around her. In the beginning, perception mobilizes sensations on the physiological plane. Records imprinted on the infant's mind are non verbal, i. e., only the results of sensations.

Example: He may cry if roughly spoken to. Although he does not understand the meaning of words, he feels discomfort and cries on account of the tone and loudness of the voice as well as the facial expression of the other person.

The child's day to day experiences are imprinted on his mind and form his notion of "self".

Between the ages of two and three, the child becomes aware of his existence in the world as a separate being. At this time, the child is already marked by the extraordinary number of experiences he has lived. The understanding he begins to have of things is influenced by experiences he has lived through.

The subsequent experiences consolidate or modify the notion of "self" that was being outlined. Example: If the child experienced rejection in the physiological plane, he can now "see" this rejection when, for instance, he is spanked by mother or father or by whoever is around. (In this example, we are hypothetically considering only what the child perceives or feels.)

This is but one brief glimpse of the self-concept formation process. If you wish to know more about this topic, click here.

Concept about the other – The set of beliefs, attitudes, and opinions that the person has about other people.

Formation of the concept about the other – The second pole necessary for the development of Shyness begins to be structured also during the first stage of the interaction of the child with the world. At this stage, the emotions felt by the child on the biological plane leave marks in the "visceral" memory and conduct its attitudes. Example: When roughly spoken to or cursed, her memory links the discomfort to the person who spoke in such a fashion.

At a later stage, the child is spanked and begins to perceive a threat in the person and to develop the expectation of hostility. If the child continues to be spanked or beaten in later stages, he may come to feel this as humiliation.

In parallel, the child becomes conscious and aware of his impotence to react and still sees the other as strong and powerful. This awareness of the other is generalized, and any person becomes strong and potentially threatening. Fear of the other is installed.

To perceive the other as strong and threatening, the adult does not need to have suffered physical punishment as a child. This perception of the other can develop through a variety of different experiences during childhood and/or at the beginning of adolescence. Examples: suffering threats of punishment, suffering prolonged non-physical punishment (such as being deprived of a favorite toy for many days), excessive restriction of contact with other children, physical and/or verbal aggression between the parents, regular outbursts from one or both parents. Ultimately, a large number of experiences can lead to the generalized perception of the other as strong and potentially threatening.

Thus, it becomes evident that the causes of Shyness are complex and are part of the evolution of the "self." Any happening in the life of a person contributes to Shyness only if it is incorporated into the "self" as a concept with a negative sign. Amid such complexity, a factor of major importance can be humiliating spankings.

May, 2004.

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